3 Keys to True Food Love

Have you ever thought of how the state of your body image impacts the relationship you have with food? It sounds obvious. But in my experience with hundreds of adult weight management clients, I certainly have seen the connection firsthand. I coach people on how to establish healthier food patterns and have observed that their own self-image seems to be a big determinant to their success.  If there are serious issues, of course I refer them out to a counselor that will assist with that compoenent. However, I was reminded of body image the other day in my own life, which was the catalyst of today’s blog post.  How, you ask?

Children can say the darndest of things! The other day, we were running around getting ready to head out to yet another 4th of July celebration when my 6 year-old daughter turned to me and grabbed my belly. She said, “Mommy, you look like you are going to have a baby.” Well, that certainly stopped me in my tracks. I thought to myself, “Did she really just say that to me? Yep, she did!” I would be lying if I said I was completely unaffected. But it’s a good thing that I have a health self-image. And it’s also a good thing that I have a great respect for food and how it nourishes my body. Otherwise, as I have seen so many times with others – the comment can cause a cascade of negative reactions. It would start with the allowance of that one comment to question my body satisfaction. This could then cause me to want to restrict food in order to achieve that body image that does not “look pregnant.” Do you see how this negative cycle can start so easily?

A positive body image not only helps
your relationship with food, but also
your children's.

This situation made me think of all the moms, women and even men out there that allow negative influences to impact their body images. I deal with so many adults in my private practice that are striving so hard to be that perfect body image that they imagine in their minds. This obsession most certainly impacts their relationship with food. You see, I am 5’5” and weight 118 pounds.  The only reason I share this information about myself is to prove a point - which is that even a normal body weight may not eliminate negative comments about your body.  It does not matter what your mind is telling you, there is no body weight that will allow you to achieve “body nirvana.” It starts with the inside and how you see your self-worth altogether. So, invest in your surroundings so they can promote a healthy body image regardless of body size. I came up with my top 3 things I tell my clients when discussing building a positive body image which in turn promotes a healthy relationship with food:

1. Rid Yourself of Negative Influences. No, that doesn’t mean disowning your children for saying negative things about your body! {giggle} It means avoiding magazines, television programs, friends, or places you go that might flood your mind with unrealistic body images or that might over promote aesthetic beauty. You may think that these are positive motivators, but they are not. As many people that I have seen in my practice, I have learned that these influences do not help you in keeping your overall health the highest priority in maintaining a healthy weight. It all becomes about the body weight and body image – and desperation becomes a sad part of this circus ride.

2. Consciously Surround Yourself with Positive Influences. Be around people that are positive and encouraging to you. Seek out reliable resources when it comes to food and nutrition so that you can truly see how food has so much more power than causing weight gain or loss. A local Registered Dietitian can help put you on a balanced plan that can be customized specifically for you. Dietetics school blew me away with the facts of food’s power in our lives. Food has the power to protect, prevent and in some cases, cure. Think of food in this way instead of only as a means of gaining or losing weight. And equally important, step back and realize the person you are regardless of what the scale says, and this will free you up to living a healthy lifestyle for the right motivations.

3. Be a part of something bigger than yourself. You can see the power of this perspective when becoming a parent. I was so much more self-absorbed when I was single. But now that I am a wife and mother, I make decisions not only for my own sake, but also those around me. If I don’t invest in a positive self-image that is grounded in more than aesthetics, it will certainly impact how I teach my children about food. Eating well and taking care of my body gives me the energy and good health I need in order to raise a family. Become part of a group, church or community that makes strives to make the world a better place for all. Being a part of something bigger than yourself really helps a person go deeper – deeper than surface motivations. For me, my faith in God is a huge part of why I do what I do - personally and professionally. It helps keep the focus off of me and instead on others.

You may be wondering what I said to my daughter after she made that comment. I calmly explained to her that it is not nice to say that to someone if they really are not pregnant. [I recalled a similar situation from back when she was 4 years old when she did the same thing to a morbidly obese friend at church. She asked her if she was pregnant. All of us in the group were extremely embarrassed, as you can imagine.] It is important that we have these teaching moments with our children without making it a huge deal. Fortunately, I was able to move on with my day pretty easily. I hope that if something like this happens to you that you can do the same. A positive body image frees oneself to truly appreciate food for what it truly offers.

For more information on how to achieve a positive body image, I recommend http://www.womenshealth.gov/bodyimage/. Consider reading the section on how the attitude of parents about appearance and diet affects their kids’ attitudes. They provide good tips on how to positively influence your child’s body image.