Tales of a Challenging Eater (My Son)

Happy Birthday to my sweet son, Evan, who turns 5 today!

As a practicing pediatric and family dietitian, many people have this picture of my children being perfect little eaters.  Here I am as the “Mrs. Cleaver” role getting a well-balanced dinner on the table with the kids eager to dig into the wholesome goodness that was prepared with lots of love.  Floral apron on.  Kids smiling and waiting for their colorful plates to be served.  Kids digging in and eating a variety of flavors.  Nope.  Not exactly my reality.

I truly believe that the good Lord has used my son, Evan’s eating habits to further increase my empathy for my patient families with challenging eaters.  I have blogged about him before, although I don’t know how much I detailed his apprehensions with food.  Evan has been much different than my daughter, Hannah, right from the beginning.  He is one of those kids that really challenge the repeated exposure rule on food acceptance.  His food preferences are milk, yogurt, cheese, bread/bagels and fruit.   I hear you, parents.  I do everything that is recommended and yet my son has been slow to progress.   

But there is good news!   Now that Evan is getting older, he is listening more about the positive effects of eating “super power” food.  You see, he started a new soccer team and he really wants to run fast, kick harder and well, score goals.  I explained to him that eating the same foods over and over won’t give him the power he needs on the soccer field.  In the last 6 months, he has started eating new foods that he had shunned for so long including salmon, salads and broccoli.  He even told me the other day that he wants to eat a big bowl of broccoli before he plays his soccer game so he can make sure he plays well.  No kidding!  I said, “Sure!  I can make that happen.”  As kids get older, their reasoning part of their brain also develops a bit more so it is important to keep a dialogue going with them.

So, let’s list just some key behaviors in feeding your little people that will set them up to be good eaters for a lifetime:

·         Serve a variety of foods and keep healthy food such as whole grains, fresh fruits, veggies, low-fat dairy and lean meats easily accessible at all times.

·         Eat as a family as often as possible.  Eliminate distractions and serve one meal.  Avoid short order cooking or serving their favorite foods over and over!

·     Serve your children what you are eating even if you think they will reject it.  Avoid thinking of certain foods as “kid’s food.”  This is so important.  Repeated exposure of a rejected food is key to promoting eventual acceptance of that food.

·       Avoid making blanket statements like, “My child doesn’t like (insert rejected food).”  Verbalizations can solidify those rejections longer than usual.  Instead, keep an open mind that your child may eventually like that particular food.

·       Discuss the positive aspects of eating healthy foods instead of talking about the negative aspects of less healthy foods.  Kids want to hear the “why” behind healthy eating.  They want to know that healthy foods will keep them from getting a cold, will help their runny nose or even help them run faster or jump further.  They respond to knowing how eating healthy will help them accomplish the goals that are important to them right now.

·       Create non-eating scenarios with food like visiting a pick-your-own food farm or taking a cooking class so your children can be more comfortable around food.

·       Last, but certainly not least.  Your child’s only responsibility at a meal is to eat or not eat.  It is your responsibility to make the healthy meal and eliminate the distractions for a pleasant eating scenario.  If your child does not like what you fix, that’s ok!  They do not have to eat.  Get it?  It’s that easy.  I promise - they won’t starve.  (But keep that plate just in case they get hungry - later because they will try and get their preferred snack afterward!)

I have not only found in my practice that all these things work, I have found it to work in my own home.  Consistency will eventually yield results.  So, take the pressure off yourself and your children.  Your kids will come around if you provide them a healthy feeding environment. 

Three E's For Optimal Child Nutrition - Educate, Expose & Empower

My children, almost 3 and 6 years of age, are at an age where they are curious, but cautious about the foods they eat. This is a natural and normal state for their ages and I am reminded to utilize my education to train my children to choose healthy foods on their own. Just like anything else in life, we would all agree that we want to train our children to eventually be able to do life on their own and it is no different with food choices. But how do we go about doing that? This is the challenge, and I fully realize it's a challenge, because I am living it out myself. But stay encouraged. we can do this together!

Educate. This requires us to be tapping into accurate and reliable informational resources. If you have inacurrate or undeveloped nutrition knowledge, then your children will naturally have the same. There are so many governmental, reputable origanizational and university websites that you can count on to bring you unbiased, reliable information. A great portal of information can be found starting on the U.S. Government's Nutrition landing site that connects to other governmental nutrition sites. The American Dietetic Association, which is the national association for Registered Dietitian and Dietetic Technicians, has a wealth of information as well. Start there. Obviously I am biased to say you should consider getting individualized guidance from a Registered Dietitian in your area as this is the best way to get off to the right start. But actively become educated so you can educate your children.

Educate, Expose & Empower Your Children!

Expose. Let's be honest. We all come to the food table with certain likes and dislikes. Are you a picky eater yourself? Do you dislike most vegetables? Do you eliminate certain food groups altogether? These things can directly impact your children's exposure to foods. Even if we would categorize ourselves as "healthy eaters," we all have a tendency to gravitate toward our favorite foods. This can also limit our children's food exposure because even healthy repetition is limiting. Head to a new grocer or even visit your local farmers market to investigate new foods.

The biggest thing I want to say about exposure is that we all need to remember to serve our children foods that they have already rejected. I know, I know - food wastage comes to mind - but if we remember that children are curiously cautious to new foods, we will gain patience. I have seen this many times with my daughter and continued exposure has lead to eventual acceptance much of the time. My son is at an age where he is rejecting most vegetables, and that's OK! I still serve them to him knowing that most likely he will accept some of them. Exposure is a big topic when it comes to child nutrition because we like to make the foods that we already know our children like because we want them to eat! Let's take the school lunch, for instance. Many of us commonly think that sending a school lunch with your child is the healthier option. I would challenge you by saying that is not always the case. The typical "healthy" brown bagged lunch has maybe a sandwich (primarily peanut butter and jelly, but also lean lunch meat), baked chips and a fruit cup or a fruit snack along with a juice or maybe even a milk. Where is the vegetable? Most children either do not have a vegetable or they get the same baby carrots everyday. Maybe your child will get the lettuce and tomato on the sandwich and that is good. But what about the next day? Is the lunch something different, or will it be more of the same? You see, the typical school lunch always provides the option of a vegetable and in most cases, provides variety from the home food. That is why I feel comfortable allowing my daughter to purchase school lunch mulitple times per week. This way I know my daughter will have the opportunity to take in a variety of nutrients by eating a variety of foods. But will she choose the vegetable, you say? That's where empowerment comes in.

Empower. This is another big one. It is essential that we teach the "why's" behind good nutrition. Let's not stop by saying "because it is good for you." And certainly, I do not encourage any talk, particularly with young children, about eating certain foods to avoid being "fat". This is sure to cause poor relationships with food, so please refrain from talking about your own fad diets and dieting practices around your children if at all possible. We all need to be healthy. And kids want to be strong and smart. I teach my children that healthy foods such as whole grains, lean meats, fruits, vegetables and milk provide "super powers" that will give them all they need to run fast, read better and can even make their skin nice. My daughter loves that eating vegetables makes her skin look like a princess. See, she gets that and it encourages her to make that healthy choice much of the time. I tell her that eating candy is fine when it is eaten sometimes, but when you eat it all the time, it does not give you the fuel her body needs to be all that she can be. So, right now she thinks she is carrying around the "secret" that healthy foods have "super powers." The other day, she asked if it was OK that she tell her best friend the secret. I told her it was OK. You can go ahead and share the "secret" with your kids, too. :)